The final 15 compete during the 2009 Miss USA Pageant at The Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Las Vegas... Miss North Carolina Kristen Dalton competes during the 2009 Miss USA Pageant in Las Vegas. Dalton was later crowned Miss USA. Several pix: ONETWOTHREE
Two guys are drinking in a bar. One says, ‘Did you know that a moose has sex 10 to 15 times a night?’ ‘Ah shit,’ says his friend, ‘and I just joined the Elks!’
A truck driver was having a bad day. His truck had broken down in the country and there was no alternative for the trucker but to walk the ten miles to the nearest farmhouse. He explained his predicament to the farmer and asked if he could spend the night. “Sure,” said the farmer, “but I must warn you that i don’t have any daughters. I don’t even have a spare room, so you’ll have to share my bed.” “Damn,” said the trucker. “I’m in the wrong joke.”
The best woman to marry A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.