Because working out hurts.
Because you need to read up on it first.
Because bowling is hard…
…And so is Skee-Ball.
Because you left your microphone at home.
Because the bathroom could be really far away and there’s a perfectly usable toilet right here.
Because opening umbrellas requires too much effort.
Because fast food isn’t fast enough.
Because baking is hard and you’re just going to have another birthday next year.
Because Band-Aids are expensive, and 911 is there for a reason.
Because discounts are bad for business.
Because it’s too hard to find a cute outfit.
Because juice boxes are heavy.
Because Best Buy has a perfectly usable Xbox and air conditioning.
Because freshness is for chumps.
Because delicately excavating something takes way too long.
Because that college degree isn’t making it any easier to find a job.
Because you couldn’t find a dictionrie.
Because your name is so easy to vandalize.
Because you’re not really into labels.
Because the trash can is way down at the other end of the street.
Because doorbells don’t count.
Because it’s already a perfectly good chair.
Because your driveway is really, really long.
Because grocery baskets are heavy.
Because it didn’t say HOW MANY pepperonis.