These terrible photographs are courtesy of rental agents who obviously don’t have any idea what an appealing property actually looks like.
In some countries, floors are flat and rooms don’t have various degrees of incline. Imagine.
This is not untidiness. This is what happens when a bomb goes off in a wardrobe.
A tip: If someone has recently passed away in the presence of their loved ones and family priest, it’s OK to rearrange the chairs afterwards.
The reason more bedrooms aren’t made up to look like Cold War solitary confinement cells is simple - The effort and skill required to remove the wallpaper, plaster, carpet and underlay while retaining the furniture is beyond all but the most skillful real estate agents. How pleasing that some are still willing to go that extra mile.
Fridge-freezers can become visibly depressed if left without the company of other white goods for a significant length of time.
Occasionally a real estate agent will capture something of genuine historical interest. Like the results of the first ever natural disaster to take place indoors.
In tribute to mime artists the world over, I publish this without comment.
A rare example from the Belgian surrealist school of performance artist estate agents, who work wearing only their underpants.
The worst thing about this is the fact that he looks as if he’s about to get in.
The garden will need some work, as soon the airstrikes abate and peace returns to this troubled region.
This flat is offered furnished, depending on which items the burglars leave behind.
There were structural problems with this property, but they are now very much in the past.
There’s a balance to be struck between making a room appear too tidy, and making it appear as if the owner should have a television documentary made about them.
Attention to detail is very important. For example, here the agent has dragged the body outside before taking the photograph.
Sadly the bath and sink are currently unusable as they have been cordoned off by police.
This property comes complete with its own poltergeist which will occasionally pile all your furniture up on one side of the room.
In this example, clever positioning of furniture, white goods and refuse has made a small room look even more squalid and unhygenic than it otherwise would have. The positioning of an upholstered dining chair in the garden, and a bed in what appears to be the kitchen, adds nicely to the sense of chaos.