Because they’re witty…
And they know a good joke is all about timing.
Because they know to leave the beer and pizza money with the most responsible person in the house…
Because they know this lunch doesn’t require a spoon.
Because they keep things simple.
Because they shine a light on society’s problems.
Because this is how you should always be greeted at the airport.
Because if they find your girlfriend’s clothes in your laundry…
They will shame you…
Because they exist solely to embarrass you.
Because they never miss a good photo opportunity.
Because they’re resourceful.
And they never come home empty handed.
Because they’re the original trolls.
They’re masters of the gag gift…
And the gag gift bag.
Because they know how to party.
And they’ll never let you get away with that stupid facial hair.
“Customer notes: I’m going to have my son pick up the items. His name is Nick. Please feel free to make whatever appropriate comments that come to mind about his facial hair :)”
Because they know what they like…
And they’re endearingly stubborn about it.
Because they’re nerdy.
And this is how they respond to your request for an air conditioner.
Because they know how to properly reuse…
Because they know you never get too old for a good d*ck joke…
Or butt joke…
Or piss joke…
Or any toilet-related humor for that matter.
Because this is how they respond to a wrong number…
Because they’re always hip with it.
Because this is how they told you there’s no Santa Claus.
Because they’re historically corny.
Because this is how they give graduation gifts.
Because they CRUSH social media.
Because this is what happens when you leave them alone with the dog.
And this is what happens when you ask for a Band-Aid.
And because 99% of the time they’re…