This person who blocks intersections in their spare time
This dude with the off-center soul patch
The person who doesn't believe in silly things like numerical order
Professors who don't believe in e-mail
This kid playing on a bowling app in a real bowling alley
That Guy (or Girl) who seems incapable of changing the damn roll
This person who just hands out apostrophes for fun
Whoever decided that a receipt for one item should be able to be used to climb Rapunzel's castle
Anyone and everyone who puts basically-empty containers back in the fridge
The sink design people who allow this shit to happen
Yum, dirty sink germs all over my clean hands.
Whoever packaged these waffles
The crew who patched up this sidewalk
This bro who was way too bro to re-rack their weights
The person who designed this lie
And also the people who actually believe in and share this stuff on social media.
The person who set the prices for this snack machine
OH SURE LET ME JUST PULL OUT ALL THOSE DIMES I HAVE CHILLIN' IN MY POCKET.
Anyone who stirs their coffee and then puts the spoon back in the sugar
People who pay like this
Everyone who had anything to do with this
Anyone who leaves time on the microwave after they've taken out their food
The person who was like "Hyuk hyuk I'm gonna put in an extra step, but it's not actually a step hyuk hyuk."
Whoever thought that this was a good idea and all the people that supported it
The person who gave this toilet a golden shower
The TESCO people who turned this frying pan into a lying pan
The dirty sneaks who package kind-of-orange things into very orange bags
Anyone who doesn't know how to staple
The person who decided that you should need scissors to be able to use your new scissors
And whoever decided that they'd just throw a useless comma in there because YOLO