This baby won’t stop talking about how much milk cost back in his day.
This baby’s turn signal has been on for the last 35 minutes.
This baby knows how to fill out a W-2.
This baby came out the womb worried he was going to miss a rerun of Gunsmoke.
This baby still prints out directions.
This baby just sent you chain mail that started with “Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re”.
This baby won’t stop explaining the rules of cribbage to me.
This baby got a lifetime achievement award two days into life.
This baby can’t drink milk anymore because of what it “does to the pipes.”
This baby has a coupon for every conceivable good/service.
This baby is on the cover of this month’s AARP Magazine.
The only music this baby listens to is AM radio.
This baby came out the womb offering you a Werther’s Original caramel.
This baby’s favorite topic of discussion is room temperature.
This baby keeps calling Vietnam “French Indochina.”
This baby hasn’t driven over 20 mph for four decades.
This baby’s favorite hobby is saving receipts.
And this baby is old enough to be your dad. He might even be your dad.