These odd creations were all used back in the day but it is easy to see why they went out of fashion.
The Poker Face Mask
The Dog Squeezer (a restraint), 1940
The Dimple Maker, 1936
The Baby Cage let city kids get fresh air... by hanging out of a window
Robot answering machine
The flying bicycle
The personal submarine
The Japanese "war tuba" which was used to locate enemy aircraft by sound prior to the invention of radar.
The motorbike powered boat.
The 1961 Buick "Flamingo" with a rotating front seat. Who needs seat belts?
One of the first bullet proof vests, 1917.
The lay-down side car.
The family bicycle equipped with a sewing machine for mom
An icemask which promised to beat hangovers, 1947
A vibrating rubber finger that massaged your gums
The Isolater which helped writers focus by blocking out all sights and sounds, 1925
A toilet mask that bleached skin to remove "imperfections"
A terrifying swim mask from the 1920s
The Cone Face which protected makeup from the elements
This "beauty micrometer" let users know where makeup needed to be applied, 1937
The Baby Dangler
Scrumptious bacon that cooked in a toaster
The People Scooper - an attachment for your car
The Scalp Molester - a massager made up of 480 articifical fingers
The Pack Smoker, 1955
The Egg Cuber for turning regular eggs into square eggs
Clamps that helped to teach your kid to walk
The Orgy Shower
A box that blasted your head with ultraviolet rays in hopes of curing diseases
Bikes for your feet
Motorized roller skates, 1961
A depressing hair growth hat that supposedly cured baldness
A massive automatic hair dryer
Revolver that took a photo every time it was fired
Tiny umbrella for smoking on a rain day
TV glasses decades before Google Glass, 1960s
Venetian blind sunglasses
Mouse scaring machine that made cat noises
Tanning vending machines, which provided people with a 30 second spray for ten cents, 1930
Pipe for two, 1949
Pain free paddle, 1950
The single-wheeled motorcycle
Hair permer, 1930
A pram to protect babies from a toxic gas attack
The 2 inch television
Inflatable life vests made from old tires
The turkey blaster