Expectation: Women eat ice creams like they’re giving a sexy blow job.
They find Magnum ice creams particularly erotic. Every woman eats a Magnum like a dick.
Reality:
Expectation: Women are naturally completely smooth and hairless.
They don’t need to shave, because they have no hair. They buy razors purely to reassure people that even if there was some hair, it would be removed.
Reality:
Expectation: Women can’t understand technology.
It’s just so CONFUSING!!!!!!!!!!!????!!!!!!! All the metal and plastic and whirry bits. Poor women, the 21st century is almost impossible for them.
Reality:
Expectation: Women need special pens.
Women need a comfortable grip adapted to woman hands for comfort, plus *****FASHION COLOURS*****. Don’t forget the fashion colours.
Reality:
Expectation: Women aren’t funny.
That’s why you hardly ever see them on the comedy programmes, or doing the comedy gigs.
Reality:
Expectation: Women will crawl half-naked across the desert for a designer handbag.
Reality:
Expectation: Women are weak.
So weak. So hopeless. So needy.
Reality:
Women love to cook in their best sexy underwear.
“The massive, hot, glistening turkey’s ready, darling.”
Reality:
Expectation: All women desperately want to be mothers.
Even if they think they don’t want kids, they do. It’s a woman’s destiny.
Reality: