You Are To Assume The Role Of A Chinese Immigrant In 1870
My Wife Wanted A Run-Of-The-Mill Birthday Party. I Asked Her, "So Just A Generic Party?" This Is The Result
My Mom Told Me To "Clean The Bathroom Like The Queen Of England Is Visiting"
Arriva Has Banned Shorts As A Part Of Their Uniform, Offering Only Pants Or Skirts Regardless Of Weather
My Wife Asked Me To Take Some Pictures With My New Selfie Stick When Doing Stuff Throughout The Day
School District Doesn't Allow Halloween Costumes
My Dad Asked The Waitress For "One Very Small Check" I Think That She Out-Dadjoked Him In Response
How To Cook Pork & Caramelised Chestnut Stuffing
Future Lawyer? Was Told He Couldn't Go Outside
Girlfriend Told Me To Wear A Plain Tie To Dinner Tonight
My Wife Asked Me To Put The Cake In The Oven At 120 Degrees. Took Some Doing, But I Managed It
The Poor Girl Actually Stopped Walking
Because, Screw You And Your "End User License Agreement"
I Never Imagined The Golden Gate Bridge Was As Bike Friendly As It Is
When You're Told To Change Ur Shirt Before Thanksgiving Dinner So You Happily Oblige
Bus Driver Near Busy Stop Ticketed For Letting Passengers Get Off Early Due To Congestion. Reaction: Today Bus Drivers Coordinated To Do Things By The Book And Only Stop Exactly At Bus Stops; Huge Line-Up Ensues
My Wife Just Told Me She Is Pregnant, And Wanted A Toasty Shower. First Dad Joke Executed
My Brother Got Bored Waiting At The Pharmacy
I Noticed This Bottle At A Local Coffee Shop, And Asked The Owner About It. He Said "Health Inspector Asked 'What's This Jar?' And I Said Nothing, It's Empty, And She Said 'Everything Has To Be Labeled' So I Labeled It."
My Dad Asked Me To Hand Him His Ginger Ale. I Don't Know What To Do
I Have No Words For This One
Mom Asked Me To Put The Toilet Paper On The Shelf
My Parents Are On A Short Vacation And Asked Me To Stop By And "Secure The Dog". Mission Accomplished
My Brother Had To Work, So He Asked Me To Save Him A Little Bit Of Everything
My Wife Asked For A Coach Bag For Her Birthday. Let's Just Say She's Pretty Happy Today
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