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You need to get out more. You're making friends with trees. With trees. Trees. You know that they're not human, right? You can't really talk with them. You can't really be with them. They don't care what you do, THEY'RE TREES!!!
Too bad you can't show as much love and devotion to real human babies. But I forget, that would be extremist! and weird and out of the mainstream and we can't have that, can we?