“I walked in early from work. My door was locked. It’s never locked. So I super stealth mode opened the door and found her and my roommate in bed together. I simply had her move her shit from my room to his. I hooked up with one of her friends like a week later and she was pissed. They both moved out at the end of the month. She tried to break in after I went on deployment, but didn’t know that I found a new roommate. He pulled a sword on her, it was epic.”