So I was super pumped to go to college, like 10/10. I was an alcoholic who loved to have a good time with no limits, and this experience was going to be the same as all the movies made it out to be. So I move in, get my room all set up with my clothes and things and set out to get absolutely black out drunk. I wake up in the morning to giggles…girl giggles
My back hurts and I am cold
I peer up to see a small Asian girl and her friend covering their mouths giggling and pointing at me
Between them is my penis, a fully naked body, and apparently, I had been sleeping on their kitchen table.
I nervously and quickly grab a disk cloth off their stove handle to use as a makeshift loincloth and bomb out the door. Immediately I am struck with fear as 1: I don’t know what building I am in, and there are 6 all identical. 2: I don’t have my keys 3: I don’t know where my clothes are
So I make my way all the way down to the ground floor to go outside (the door locking automatically behind me) and realize that in fact I HAD been in my own building but only on the floor above.
I had to go in my little towel to the residence registers office and get new keys, while some more of the freshmen’s parents moved them in a day later… The stares haunt my dreams.