#1 -- F*ck that douchebag for pulling his bike up into the crosswalk.

#not enough speed, landed too soon.

#6 - I hope that's not some sort of amusement park ride - the G-forces from that would be lethal!

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#6 What is that?

#8 never mind the dog pawing your face, you should be worried about slender man standing behind you (the lamp)