Noisy typers
Noisy eaters
Lift awkwardness
People who leave the kitchen looking like this
And allow their desks to become like this
Having to spend the first half of every Monday answering the exact same question
Would it be so wrong to just hand these out instead?
Martyrs who insist on hauling themselves into work despite being infectiously ill
Endless birthday whip-rounds
And leaving dos
Both of which always involve debilitating amounts of cake
And then, once a year, it’s your turn — which means sitting there while people sing “Happy Birthday” to you. Because that’s not awkward at all
People who don’t get back to you
Though at least that’s preferable to receiving emails that make no sense whatsoever
Meetings that drag on forever and make you daydream about doing this
People who make unnecessary noise
People who bring their babies into work
Nothing against babies. Babies are lovely. Just not in the workplace. It’s always a bit weird.
Pranks
Corporate jargon
Stupid buzzwords
Workmates who are clueless about technology
Touchy-feely company slogans
This isn’t fake, by the way. It’s taken from an actual ad agency website.
Colleagues who send emails, despite sitting right next to you
Smug, annoyingly healthy people
You know the type. They cycled to work this morning, do yoga at their desk, and will probably go for a run at lunch
So while you’re hungover, dolefully chomping through one of these
They’ve got a drawer full of these
Colleagues who don’t pull their weight in key areas and therefore deserve to be shamed
Appraisals
And coworkers who are permanently stressed
Still, you’ve got to look on the bright side. Only another few hours to go, and then…
I didn't even see the man with the baby until I read the title.
One of the sexiest women alive is in the frame...