"When a family friend had new neighbors moving in down the street, they went over to greet them. He was talking to the guy, and his son — like 5 at the time — rolls over on his big wheel and with his arms fully extended says, 'My daddy's penis is this big!' And rode away. They both just paused for a second, and the new guy turned to him and said, 'Uhh... Good for you?'"