One of the craziest things about this sucker is just how deeply Apple has buried it.
Step 1: From the main Settings menu, select Privacy
Step 2: Select Location Services
Step 3: Scroll aaaall the way down to the bottom to System Services
Step 4: Scroll about three-quarters of the way down to Frequent Locations. Note: this is where you turn this feature off. Which, just wait for it, you'll definitely want to do.
Stupid paranoid people...
Stupid ignorant people...