Your hand is fine, but it lacks a certain… magic. You need Handicorn
Socks AND sandals? Why not cut out the middle man? Once you got the Sock Sandals
, you’ll never return to being a normal person.
Wear this Realistic Pigeon Mask
to sit on statues or beg for bread by a park bench! Fits most drunk adult heads.
: the moustache drinking protector.
If you love staring at bacon and find it amusing to put together a puzzle where everything looks exactly the same, you may just love this 1000 Piece Bacon Jigsaw Puzzle
Camouflage Beer Belt
: a must have survival kit for every alcoholic. Holds six 12 oz cans of beer or any other bottles around your waist.
There’s no better way to show your wife that you’re a good father than getting your toddler a Two Front Teeth Pacifier
Bacon Scented Soap
: bacon you can actually take in the shower with you (it tastes horrible).
These soft-toy pants that you just couldn’t resist after a bottle of wine
These Freddie Mercury coasters purchased after a night of singing Bohemian Rhapsody and realising you don’t have any Freddie memorabilia.
This toaster than only makes hot dogs, purchased because at 4 am, this is a necessity.
Pogs, because you reminisced with your school friends about how awesome pogs were.
This stuffed squirrel bought because someone needs to guard your house when you’re away.
These pillows, bought in a shameful moment of gin-induced loneliness.
This Cheshire Cat mannequin, because it’s less creepy after you slammed a couple of cocktails.
This game that you KNEW your friends would love tomorrow.
This tote bag that tells the world how you feel.
These life-sized cut-outs of all the world’s most important people.
These placemats that you got during a beer-filled Jurassic park screening.
The dog dinosaur suit that you purchased on the same night…
The strawberry cat house you purchased because a few glasses of wine into the night it was just too cute!
This t-shirt that was everything you wanted last night
This artwork that you thought was genius after a few rum shots.
This sweater, purchased after coming home from a boozy night and realising your cat was all you had.
...Why did anyone ever think it would be a good idea to wake up to this
This was a really important 3:30 a.m. purchase...
seem like a GREAT idea while drunk.
After a couple hours at the pub, the logic "IT COULD RAIN AT ANY MOMENT"
"I really gotta get in shape. I should buy a JUMP ROPE
- oooh they have flasks
They were watching Jaws, can you blame 'em
The intent of this purchase
was clearly conceived after a couple cold ones.
I don't have to be drunk for you to convince me that this was a crucial purchase