Your hand is fine, but it lacks a certain… magic. You need Handicorn
Socks AND sandals? Why not cut out the middle man? Once you got the Sock Sandals
, you’ll never return to being a normal person.
Wear this Realistic Pigeon Mask
to sit on statues or beg for bread by a park bench! Fits most drunk adult heads.
MoGuard: the moustache drinking protector.
If you love staring at bacon and find it amusing to put together a puzzle where everything looks exactly the same, you may just love this 1000 Piece Bacon Jigsaw Puzzle
Camouflage Beer Belt
: a must have survival kit for every alcoholic. Holds six 12 oz cans of beer or any other bottles around your waist.
Bacon Scented Soap
: bacon you can actually take in the shower with you (it tastes horrible).
These soft-toy pants that you just couldn’t resist after a bottle of wine
These Freddie Mercury coasters purchased after a night of singing Bohemian Rhapsody and realising you don’t have any Freddie memorabilia.
This toaster than only makes hot dogs, purchased because at 4 am, this is a necessity.
Pogs, because you reminisced with your school friends about how awesome pogs were.
This stuffed squirrel bought because someone needs to guard your house when you’re away.
These pillows, bought in a shameful moment of gin-induced loneliness.
This Cheshire Cat mannequin, because it’s less creepy after you slammed a couple of cocktails.
This game that you KNEW your friends would love tomorrow.
This tote bag that tells the world how you feel.
These life-sized cut-outs of all the world’s most important people.
These placemats that you got during a beer-filled Jurassic park screening.
The dog dinosaur suit that you purchased on the same night…
The strawberry cat house you purchased because a few glasses of wine into the night it was just too cute!
This t-shirt that was everything you wanted last night
This artwork that you thought was genius after a few rum shots.
This sweater, purchased after coming home from a boozy night and realising your cat was all you had.
...Why did anyone ever think it would be a good idea to wake up to this every morning?
This was a really important 3:30 a.m. purchase...
Candy blocks seem like a GREAT idea while drunk.
After a couple hours at the pub, the logic "IT COULD RAIN AT ANY MOMENT" seems valid.
"I really gotta get in shape. I should buy a JUMP ROPE - oooh they have flasks, too?!"
They were watching Jaws, can you blame 'em?
The intent of this purchase was clearly conceived after a couple cold ones.
I don't have to be drunk for you to convince me that this was a crucial purchase.