Chasing pieces of paper that are flying away in the wind
Walking on riot stairs
These are those staircases that are slightly awkwardly spaced so that the same foot has to land on the first step every time, allegedly to prevent riots. To walk on them, you either have to do a hop-step or take really long strides.
Running to catch a bus that is waiting for you when you are wearing a backpack
Unless you really tighten the straps.
Crossing a crosswalk with cars waiting
It’s called the courtesy jog.
Rolling forward in an office chair
Only rolling backwards looks cool.
Pouring water into your nose is hard to do while preserving coolness.
Plugging your laptop into the plug under the table
Crawling under anything at work/school is hard to do in a cool fashion.
Being sung Happy Birthday to
Should you sing along? Do you smile? You are so uncool right now.
Backpacks with wheels
If you grew up in the 90’s, you may have fond memories of getting beat up because you had a backpack-with-wheels. In middle school, they were almost the definition of uncool.
Taking photos with an iPad
This automatically makes you look 20 years older.
Waiting for your dog to poop
And then picking up afterwards. Nothing cool about that.
Driving a PT Cruiser
Everyone will immediately know that you inherited grandma’s car.
Chasing ping pong balls
Just find a new one.
Riding a Segway
If coolness is your goal, you should never, ever, under any circumstances attempt to do this. And especially not with a helmet.
Throwing things with your non-dominant hand
This is the fastest way to look like a child.
Holding back a sneeze
You just have to let it out.
Talking on a bluetooth
…unless you actually put your finger on the earpiece…like in the movies.
Walking into a spiderweb
Your cool points just plummeted after those dance moves.
Drinking out of a straw
Unless you’re Samuel Jackson in Pulp Fiction.
Saying bye and walking in the same direction
At least everybody looks equally uncool.
Holding your girlfriend’s purse
In the words of Seinfeld…It’s a European Carryall!
The YMCA dance
It is impossible to not look like an old white guy while doing this.
Socks and sandals
This is just about at the top of the uncool list.
They almost make regular selfies look cool.
Standing behind the President while he gives a speech
It’s basically the definition of awkward.