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Some Kids Are So Innocent About Those Sex Things… (18 pics)

Posted in Funny » Fail   31 May 2017   / 3692 views

“I am uncircumcised. I was convinced that if I ever pulled my foreskin back far enough to expose the head of my penis, I would be risking having it fall off. The only thing that I had to keep from going completely insane worrying about this was the notion that my testicles were actually replacement heads in case I ever lost the first one.”

“When my husband first discovered porn he sat there trying to figure out how they were making it look like penetration. He figured obviously, they must not really be having sex, since they aren’t married and it’s wrong to do in public. I think he went a solid year thinking it was a camera trick or special effect.”

“I thought that guys had to replace the tip of their penis every now and then. Seriously, I really believed stores sold “penis tip replacements.”

“Around age five or so, I was starting to become more aware of my body. I could not for the life of me figure out what my vagina was for. It just seemed so…random. Around that time, I watched this kids documentary on Australia. This was my introduction to marsupials. “Of course! It’s a pocket!” I thought. I went about two weeks carrying small trinkets around in my cooch [sic] before my mom caught on and had to explain a few things.”

“You could not change positions during sex because once the penis was inside the vagina, the sex was activated. So you had to pick a position and stick to it.”

“That the objective of sex was to get the penis completely inside of the vagina. I assumed that “push” meant to slowly work the penis, one thrust at a time, to get deeper inside the vagina. And that once the penis was completely inside, sex was complete.”

“When I was really young, maybe 4 or 5, my cousin told me that when a man gets old his penis shrivels up and turns to into cabbage. I believed that for a few years, probably a lot longer then I should have.”

“I was an only child and had never seen a dick before. Well, all the boys would complain about getting hit in the “balls.” So I thought that a penis was shaped like a snowman with 3 balls one smaller after the other. I was surprised and grossed out when I saw what they really looked like.​”

“I was convinced that my penis would roll up into a vagina when I reached a certain age when I was around 5 or 6. And lo and behold, my year older sister was there to confirm it for me. “Yeah, I used to have that, but then it turned into this when I turned 8.” Why, thank you sister, I can’t wait until my penis rolls into a vagina! To speed up the process, I’d tuck my penis between my legs and “practice” having a vagina.”

Tags: kids, innocent, sex  

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