Recently Museum Victoria in Australia, has been on an expedition, exploring the deep abyss just off the coast, and they’ve released some photos that scare the crap out of me.
Cookie Cutter Shark – known to go after whales, dolphins, other fish and the occasional surfer. Fuck no.
Brittle Star – like other starfish out there, just a little more sensitive and curly.
Faceless Fish – this is the best name ever. Apparently, they’ve found a few of these guys over the years.. just never got a proper name. Looks like a character from a Guillermo Del Toro film.
The Peanut Worm – yeah, I know what it looks like, and yeah, it shrinks when it gets scared.
Red Coffinfish – this guy just looks really sad. Usually hides out in the sand until he sees something he likes.
Blind Cusk Eel. No Eyes or anything hard to speak of. More like scary gummy worm.
Spiny Crab – the stuff of nightmares. Hard pass on touching this guy.
Blob Fish – slimy and looks like it wants “those dagnabbit kids off his lawn.”
Corallimorph – looks like the eye of Sauron.
Sea Spider (aka – baby face hugger from Alien)
Lizard Fish – Nope, just nope.
Sea Pig – like the vacuum of the ocean, using it’s little feet to suck up microorganisms.
Dumbo Octopus – apparently he’s got large fins that look like Dumbo, and make him cute-ish.
Bioluminescent Dragon Fish – Looks like glow-in-the-dark, all night raves are still a thing down there. Where’s my neon-strobe pacifier?
Coffinfish – Not as vibrant as his red friend, so most likely not a hit at parties. Can blow himself up like a pufferfish, though.
Flesh Eating Crustacean – Yep. The tables have turned, my coconut-shrimp loving friends. This guy’ll nibble on flesh.
Grideye Spiderfish – Much like other deep sea nopes, there’s no eyes on these guys – just bioluminescent plates.
Glass Sponge – looks like something I pulled out of my dryer.
Carnivorous Sponges – they’ve got little hooks that catch small crustaceans and other living things and then digest them. Slowly.