Some of the weirdest, most unsettling, and outright hilarious dirty talk fails.
And boom goes the dynamite
Not even trying to be funny, took off a girls shirt and started to take off her bra and she goes “I love my papa” talking about her dad… wish I was making that up
“fuck me where I stink!”
A period dont stop a thing but a sentence!
“Leave the door open. I want the dog to watch”
He screamed out at the top of his lungs “hhHHHEEERRRREEEEEEE IIIIIIIIIIII CCCCCOOOMMMMMMEEEEEEEE!!!!!” I called him a cab immediately after. My roommates still bring it up…
“Lick my eyebrows!”
“I like to imagine we’re German Shepherds when we fuck.” I’m still confused about it.
“It’s like a jacuzzi for my dick.”
She put her fingers in her mouth and inspected my teeth asked “did you have braces?” I answered *fingers in the mouth* “no” she responded “GOOD GENETICS!” And then we went back to the business.
that’ll do pig
While in foreplay I (a guy) told a girl “I want you in me”… It’s been 10 years and I still cringe when I think about it.
“This is the closest our genitals have ever been.”
This is better than Arby’s.
“I’m an adult!”
“sick cock bro”
He spontaneously covered my mouth and nose with his entire gigantic mouth and tried to suck the life out of me. I pulled back and said WTF DUDE!? His response was: “I’m a dementor Harry!”
Went to a party with a guy I had a crush on and he got really drunk and questioned my grooming methods bc he planned to “munch on that cooch.” We never hung out again.
“I want you to cut me”. Needless to say, that was the end of the night.
Got a high five afterwards. Was years ago and I still grin when I think about it.
“If you’re going to change lanes make sure you signal.”
When she came she said “God Bless America!” I was oddly turned on even more
“STIR THAT MAC & CHEESE!