When you’re not good at cooking sushi:
“You’re doing it wrong.”
When your husband decides to iron a plastic bag instead of his shirt:
When you’re ready to do everything for her:
Boat for sale
“I told my wife to stop leaving them around the house. Now they are reproducing.”
“My girlfriend and I just bought a home. We’re unpacking. Her side of the shower vs. mine.”
“My wife says I don’t understand breakfast in bed.”
“My husband has a glass or 2 of wine the night before his days off. It never fails, he falls asleep half way into glass number 2.”
“I bought VR. Haven’t had a chance to play yet.”
“My wife and I started working out together.”
“The dad sticker has been scratched off of this car.”
My girlfriend wrapped her Christmas presents in fast food bags.
Her bag turns you into the coolest guy.
“When I asked my boyfriend to bring me home some food from the bar...”
Shopping be like...
“My girlfriend didn’t like the controllers laying around so I put them on the wall. She doesn’t like that either.”
When you make the worst mistake:
“Asked my boyfriend to make a dish for a potluck this weekend...”
The author of this thing could be a family therapy psychologist.
“Every married man choosing paint colors must bring an authorization slip from his wife.”
When your wife is an Instagrammer: