It seems like at least once a year, the migratory habits of snails bring them right up to my door step. I don’t have a problem with snails, but stepping on them is just funky. If you have a similar problem, and are having trouble tracking them all down, just put out a bowl of Coke overnight and watch them flock.

You can also pour it on ant hills to get rid of those fuckers or, for mosquito relief, put it in a bowl with some saran wrap over the top and get rid of those pesky blood suckers. No word on how well it works on Jehovah’s Witnesses.