It Must’ve Been Difficult To Get A Whopping 0% On Rotten Tomatoes… (15 pics + 12 gifs)

Posted in PICTURES       9 Aug 2019       2850      

Megaforce (1982)

The only reason Megaforce is remembered by anyone (besides for being unbelievably bad) is its director: Hal Needham, a stuntman for Burt Reynolds that successfully climbed the ranks to become a director with a little movie called Smokey and the Bandit.

Otherwise, avoid at all costs.

Staying Alive (1983)

Making a sequel to Saturday Night Fever is a dubious proposition at best, especially six years after it came out. Frequently considered to be one of the worst sequels of all time, John Travolta returning to the doomed sequel wasn’t even close to enough to save it.

Bolero (1984)

You know, a movie about Bo Derek being desperate to lose her virginity while on an international trek might have worked under certain circumstances, but it sure as [email protected]#k didn’t. Besides being ripped apart by critics, the movie bombed at the box office too.

The Slugger’s Wife (1985)

Honestly, The Slugger’s Wife is bad, but at first glance you wouldn’t think it’d deserve a 0%.

Until you find out the director, Hal Ashby (director of one of my personal favorite films of all time, Being There), was an Academy Award winner. On top of that, the screenplay was written by legendary playwright/screenwriter Neil Simon. With that much talent behind this, it’s utterly baffling how this sports rom-com turned out so horribly.

American Anthem (1986)

There’s a certain novelty to casting real athletes in films about sports, but make sure the athlete can act first before spending $7 million on your movie.

Clearly, the makers of the gymnastics sports drama American Anthem forgot to do that, putting Mitch Gaylord of the U.S. Men’s Gymnastics team front and center. It didn’t work, to say the least.

Izismile Video Collection

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

You could write hundreds if not thousands of words about how much this movie sucks, but no words you could write can possibly measure up to what Michael Caine (somehow one of the stars of the movie) said about it:

“I have never seen it but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built and it is terrific.”

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)

More than one sequel to Police Academy has managed to earn a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, but to streamline this list, I decided via a coin toss to put this one on here.

Maybe that’s not fair to this movie, because it does have cameos from a young David Spade and Tony Hawk. Obviously, that’s not even close to enough to redeem a franchise that somehow kept rolling after this installment.

Mac and Me (1988)

Look, every time we do a “bad movie” anything, it feels like this unfortunate product finds a way in. But yeah, to no one’s surprise, the E.T. rip-off with Coca-Cola pumping through its veins while being force-fed McDonalds has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Dream a Little Dream (1989)

While Dream a Little Dream does have a small cult following due to its stars (Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Meredith Salenger, Piper Laurie, goddamn Harry Dean Stanton), this completely bizarre body-swap movie found no love from film critics.

Highlander 2: The Quickening (1991)

The original Highlander is one of the best cult classics of the 1980s.

Its sequel is considered one of the worst theatrical releases of the entire 1990s, and considering some of the other films in that decade, that is no small feat.

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Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991)

The Blue Lagoon film from 1980 wasn’t received well by critics, but it did make a [email protected]#k-ton of cash (it was the ninth biggest film of the U.S. box office that year), so you can see how a [email protected]#bass film producer would look at that and think, “[email protected]#k it, just make another one with practically the same story.”

Suffice to say, it didn’t go so well and failed to recoup its budget.

Look Who’s Talking Now! (1993)

How Look Who’s Talking ended up inspiring a trilogy is way beyond human understanding. But it did, and to no one’s surprise the final film of the trio is absolute [email protected]#t. Speaking of [email protected]#t, this one has talking dogs in it instead of talking babies.

Wagons East! (1994)

This film’s infamy moves in two completely different directions: It’s a bad Blazing Saddles knock-off without the genius of Mel Brooks, and it has the unfortunate luck of being the film John Candy was working on when he passed away.

Top Dog (1994)

A Turner & Hooch knock-off starring Chuck Norris is inherently a terrible idea. There’s no universe where that works out, and to no one’s surprise, it’s very very bad.

Jury Duty (1995)

Critics have never been kind to Pauly Shore’s films of the 1990s, but as far as I can tell, Jury Duty has the dubious honor of being the worst-reviewed film of that timeframe. The film has the odd distinction of some really surprising supporting actors though, including Stanley Tucci and Abe Vigoda.

Ed (1996)

Similar to Top Dog, there is no universe where a movie with Matt LeBlanc as a baseball player with a chimpanzee sidekick was ever going to turn out well. Having a $24 million budget and only making $4 million back probably didn’t help matters either.

Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever (2002)

Has anyone seen this movie?

I’m only asking because I’ve always heard its particularly awful, but it must have personally insulted film critics because despite having 117 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, not one is positive. That large number of reviews, plus a 0%, makes this the worst-reviewed film in the history of the site, so maybe it’s best that I haven’t seen a single frame of this.

Pinocchio (2002)

Unlike Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever, I’ve actually seen the first ten minutes or so of this movie. I saw those minutes when I was young, but even a child can tell that this movie sucks. Simply put, the actor playing Pinocchio, Roberto Benigni (who also directed the film), was damn near 50-years-old when he played the part. Combine that with a spectacularly botched English dub (the film was originally Italian) and you have a truly bizarre disaster.

National Lampoon’s Gold Diggers (2004)

The late-era National Lampoon movies are close to universally awful, but National Lampoon’s Gold Diggers is next-level bad. Absolutely slaughtered by critics, audiences weren’t interested either. Its theatrical run lasted a single week, and it managed to make just above $800,000 in that time.

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)

If you look at that title, you already know this is bad, but Whoopi Goldberg’s cameo along with a villain performance from Jon Voight pushes this movie into a whole other realm of bad.

Tragically, this was one of the final films of director Bob Clark, the man who gave us Black Christmas (1974, the good version of Black Christmas), Porky’s, and A Christmas Story.

Redline (2007)

Not to be confused with Japanese animated film of the same name (which is badass and completely worth watching), the American Redline of 2007 is a bafflingly awful Fast and the Furious knock-off with a fascinating history.

It was financed by Daniel Sadek, a very wealthy man who used some of his own automobile collection for the film. The problem was that Sadek’s wealth came from his company Quick Loan Funding, a company that was very much into subprime-mortgages. Between this film’s absolute failure and the meltdown of the subprime-mortgage market not too long after that… Well, Sadek declared bankruptcy by 2009.

One Missed Call (2008)

There was a time when American producers were snatching up the rights to Japanese horror movies left and right after the massive success of The Ring. One Missed Call was at the tail-end of that trend, and the Japanese original wasn’t even that well regarded. Unsurprisingly, this remake didn’t work out so well.

The Nutcracker in 3D (2010)

Like Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever, I haven’t seen this movie, but the legends around how awful it is are beyond your wildest dreams. Unlike many of the films on here that were low-budget, this disaster came with a $90 million price tag and only managed to earn $20.5 million back.

Not only does this film have the dubious honor of a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, but it earned the title of “Worst Limited Release Film of 2010” from Metacritic as well.

Dark Tide (2012)

Goddamn, Halle Berry’s career nosedived in the 2000s.

While it was great to see her back in John Wick: Chapter 3, her appearance in this [email protected]#ty shark movie is particularly infamous for two reasons (beyond being terrible).

One, its $25 million budget only earned back $432,000. Two, the number of producers it took to get that $25 million. The final film lists 28 different producers in the credits (and somehow, there’s a movie we haven’t gotten to yet that will have more producers than that, and is worse than this).

A Thousand Words (2012)

If you watch A Thousand Words, it seems like the kind of [email protected]#tty comedy movie from Eddie Murphy’s mid-2000s career that brought you Norbit.

That’s because it is. Shot in 2008, the film was released out of nowhere in 2012, and it’s a goddamn disaster of a bad movie (and not so coincidentally, it was also directed by the same guy who directed Norbit).

Dark Crimes (2018)

On paper, this could have been incredible. Based on the unbelievable true story of Krystian Bala (you can read The New Yorker article about it here, be warned, its LONG as hell, but very much worth reading), it has a cast that includes Jim Carrey and Charlotte Gainsbourg. And while Jim Carrey is most known for his comedic performances, his dramatic performances are [email protected]#@ing great too.

Which is why it’s practically a crime that this story is so boring and so poorly told on every level.

Gotti (2018)

I actually sat through this whole [email protected]#@ing movie. I like watching bad movies for fun, but Gotti tested my patience in a way films rarely do. Perhaps having 58 different producers on the film didn’t help things much (for reference, a good movie like Goodfellas had 3 producers).

Not helping matters either is the director, Kevin Connolly. You know, E from the HBO show Entourage. But the film also had the balls to launch an ad online claiming film critics were trolls trying to stop audiences from seeing the movie. Trust me, film critics aren’t the only people who will hate Gotti. You will too.



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