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2004, We’re Dreaming of a White Trash Xmas

When I went to the JC Penney Portrait Studio to pick-up our cards, they were very busy with the holiday rush, and the manager (who was also the cashier) was clearly stressed-out, answering phones, organizing photo sittings, delegating to her employees and systematically trying to work through the line at the cash register. After patiently waiting for about 10 minutes, it was my turn to be helped, and she immediately went into sales mode, taking control of the transaction and regurgitating her customer service talk track in a frenzy, multitasking all-the-while, mind you, and not able to give me her full attention.

Her – “Welcome to JC Penney Portrait Studio, how can I help you today, sir?”

Me – “I’m here to pick up my Christmas cards.”

Her – “Okay, what is your last name?”

Me – “It’s Bergeron, but I have my receipt right here if that helps.”

Her – “Okay, thank you. Give me just a moment while I get your order. Sir, it appears they accidentally printed an 8×10, which is usually $19.99, but we’ll let you have it for $5 since it was our mistake.”

Me – “No thanks.”Her – “Okay…well, I see that your wife is pregnant…I hope you will be coming back to JC Penney to take your baby pictures.”

Me (smiling at the realization that she doesn’t get the joke) – “Actually, she’s not pregnant…and if she was, I wouldn’t let her drink beer or smoke cigarettes…and, as you can see, I don’t have a mullet. It’s a joke card.

”In the midst of what was utter chaos for her at that moment, she just sort of stared at me in bewilderment as the cashier next to her stopped what he was doing, leaned over to look at the card and said to me with pure and utter excitement, “Dude, that’s awesome!”

Me – “Thanks. Merry Christmas!”

As I took my cards and walked away, the manager stood there in absolute confusion, her brain frozen with the realization that her sales training had failed to prepare her for this situation.

 

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This Family Is The Best At Worst Holiday Cards!
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