These Things Are Normal ONLY In Movies…

5 Feb 2020


1

Hot girl is ugly because she wears glasses.

 

See also, hot nerdy girl is hot because of her glasses.

2

When people talk perfectly, without any pauses mid sentence or making any “uhh” or “hmm” sounds.

 

3

Guns making a lot of random clicking noises as soon as they point it at someone.

 

Guy A threatening guy B with a pistol, cocks pistol “I’ll do it! Dont think I wont!” Guy B: “Hey man take it easy” Guy A: cocks gun again “IM NOT [email protected]#KING PLAYING!”


4

Regaining consciousness after receiving CPR.

 

5

People having copious amounts of time to spend with their friends, not being tired after work.

 

6

I am an Anglican priest.

We are never found lingering alone in candle lit churches late at night picking up service bulletins or books from pews.

Yet every movie shows priests and ministers puttering around dark churches cleaning up.


7

Sexy scientists wearing little or no protective gear except a lab coat. In real life that would get your whole operation shutdown for months.

 

8

Grenades kill by launching shrapnel but also by the concussive force it expends. There’s no big explosion it’s like a puff of smoke filled with angry metal bees shooting out everywhere.

 

9

A bright eyed 22 year old moving into “the big apple” and getting a one bedroom apartment, while hunting for their dream job, while eating at pizza places and drinking lattes.

 

10

Huge lapses in time or long distances traveled but the characters are still at the same spot in conversation.

 

11

Showing up for a meeting over dinner or drinks, having said meeting in 1-2 minutes and just leaving. It bugs me so much that so many shows and movies do this. You could easily just cut the scene and the viewer could just imagine that they finished dinner together or had their drinks. But nope, people will literally order a drink, take a sip and just walk away. When In real life have you ever seen that?

 

12

That particular era of horror movies where cell phones are becoming so popular they have to show/explain why they were useless – left in the car, broken, lost. When cell phones became ubiquitous, they let reality take over – didn’t check the messages, out of service area, breaking up. It’s fun watching horror movies from each decade (every five years, really) to see this trope.

 

13

Weird nobody mentioned that in movies everybody always looks at each other while driving. And they move the damn driving wheel way to much while driving straight forward, pisses me off.

 

14

If you are being attacked by multiple bad guys they will each wait there turn to attack. This [email protected]#t bugs the heck out of me.

 

15

They sometimes just stop conversations on the most random spots (or hang up)

 

I like also when a guy finally convinces a girl to go on a dinner date and she says, ‘alright then, see you tonight’. So when, where? Logistics don’t matter

 

16

Death bed scenes. People do not simply lay there looking relaxed and well groomed, say something profound, then die. It is protracted and ugly and usually they are not even conscious so near death.

 

17

How families who move into haunted houses decide to keep their worries to themselves or just not believe each other. You saw a tall creepy man in your room last night and you don’t want to tell anyone? Even your younger sibling who definitely voiced seeing a weird shadow 2 nights ago? Really???

 

18

Also when someone outruns the fire from the blast they’re ok. Nevermind that they should at least be looking like they just got their as beat from the concussive force.


5   Comments ?
2
1.
Forget 7 month s ago
When arriving home, almost never using a key to enter. Just turn the knob and go in.
Your home has been unlocked all day.

Almost every room has at least one light on, despite having left the house hours earlier when it was daylight.

Every kitchen is huge and has an overhanging collection of copper pots & utensils that probably never get used.

Dating couple has an argument and don’t see each other for a few days. Then one of them decides to visit the other and work things out. Partner answers the door but doesn’t open it all the way. And that’s when a surprise person pops-out from another room “You didn’t say if you wanted regular or deca…..ohhh….” That scene should never, ever be filmed again.

Guy is on phone with spouse while with his mistress. Mistress is doing all sorts of playing/teasing with him while he’s trying to speak to spouse. Spouse: “Is everything OK?” Meanwhile dumb mistress just keeps teasing/giggling. That scene should never, ever be filmed again.

Cowboys brawl outside of a saloon. Afterwards, they dunk their heads/use water from nearby horse-trough to ‘clean-up’. Ever seen a horse trough? They’re disgusting.

When being chased, keep looking back to see if dinosaur/monster is still pursuing, despite being able to hear the racket they’re making.

During foot-pursuit by chainsaw guy, stop every now & then and breathe/cry loudly so that they can locate you. You can also stop and peer around a building, as if to say “Hey!! I’m over here!”
       
4
2.
Concern 7 month s ago
Being able to find a parking space RIGHT in front of whatever building they're going to, even in places like New York!
       
5
3.
Skeleton 7 month s ago
"I'll have a beer and a glass of wine of any non-specific brand or type. Oh, and don't bother giving me a bill, here's a random amount of monies. That should cover the cost and your tip perfectly."
       
3
4.
Journalist 7 month s ago
Space operas using “light speed” to travel instantly between star systems.

New couples kissing immediately after waking up. If you like toilet breath, I guess.
       
0
5.
Concern 7 month s ago
hollywood children (action) movies where american cars hid a cardboard box, flies through the air and explodes!

explosions in space (with a bang... in vacuum)
       
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