“My sister just had a baby and she brought her home today. My other niece was so mad that she packed up all her things and tried to leave.”
“My nephew is running away from home.”
“I’ve been looking for my keys since 9 p.m. I turned the whole house upside down and Ju Ju helped me to look for them, knowing that she left them in her mini-car.”
“She got mad that she wasn’t born before me, even though I’m 17 and she’s 4.”
“They have been standing like this for 5 minutes to see which one of them is more dominant.”
“I told my daughter she was too big for the baby walker. She didn’t listen to me.”
Who needs a bed if you already have a box?
“My 5-year-old niece wants a bunny, so she made this trap in the driveway.”
Well, that’s better than being constantly asked: “Are we there yet?”
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is my little sister.”
“I caught my niece eating frozen pizza rolls.”
“My daughter couldn’t get her phone charger out of the wall after washing her hands. So she decided to use this metal tool. Thankfully, she is okay.”
“My 3-year-old son thinks that this sign prohibits throwing balls at the ducks. Maybe he’s on to something.”
She probably knows a secret way to use rice that we’ve never heard of.
“This is the perfect spot for a nap.”
“My little sister wondered why her screen didn’t work.”
“My daughter was trying to hide when she was supposed to be in bed.”
“He made this Mr. Potato Head himself. Then he got scared, started to cry, and couldn’t look at it.”
“My kid insisted on putting a Band-aid on after losing a tooth.”
Well, at least they’re painting his back and not the wall.
“She had toothpaste in her mouth but she refuses to swallow it or to spit it out.”
She told me: “Daddy, let’s play hide and seek.”
“Mom asked him to add the eggs.”
“My beloved daughter came to me and asked, ‘Hey dad, what are you doing?’”
“Spent $150 on a pool for this kid who’d rather be in a paint container.”
“Whenever I get baby fever, I look back at the time my cousin got stuck inside of a claw machine”
“This is pure torture and they’re just feeling it.”
Well, he didn’t mean to.
They really do need a lot of attention.
“Caught our child cheating while we were quizzing him for his test.”
Oh, the ideas they get in their heads!
“My 5-year-old just learned that 911 still works on old cell phones. He was playing cops and robbers with his brother... and apparently needed backup.”
Logic
“Come see what I put in the toilet!”
Now, this is a set-up.
“Silence in parenting is ALWAYS a bad sign. This is the moment she realized she can’t wash off permanent marker.”
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If you don't speak English as a first language it's ok TLDR: Bullsh#t.
If you don't understand the difference between reading and listening, it's ok