“I was like 8 and wanted money at the cottage.

Aunt told me I could ‘stir the s@#t hole’ (outhouse) if I was that desperate.

So I found the longest downed tree branch I could, took off all the twigs, etc. Then used that 8 foot bastard to stir it up. Then went to collect my money.

She laughed at me, said she couldn’t believe it.

So I fished the branch out of the forest and left it on the hood of her car.”