I hate my mom for trying to guilt rip me so much. She does it so much that I can tell when she is about to so I can point it out which makes her guilt trip me on accusing her of guilt-tripping me. It’s a vicious cycle.
That parents don’t have to apologize if they are wrong because they are parents. I grew up in a big family and many times one sibling would be blamed for another sibling’s action (both by parents or other siblings). If I yelled at sibling A for something sibling B did, I would be made to apologize to sibling A. If my mom yelled at me for something sibling A did, after everything was sorted I’d ask “Are you going to apologize to me now?” and she would said “I don’t have to, I’m the adult.”
I have kids of my own now and if I do something wrong, I apologize.
I don’t want my kids to mess up and feel like they have to hide it from me. I want them to mess up and come to me asking what they should do.
Mistakes are a part of life. My mum goes beserk when I make a small mistake like spilling a drink, and I don’t want my kids to be afraid of being human.
“There’s no reason to be stressed”
Everyone gets stressed whether it’s something big and life-changing or small and inconvenient. Growing up my sister and I always heard “you shouldn’t be stressed about this. This isn’t a big thing to stress over” and stuff like that. Instead of being taught to manage our stress, we’ve learned to hide it and bottle it up so our parents wouldn’t think we’re dramatic or something.
Instead of teaching kids to “not be stressed” I’d teach them how to manage stress in healthy ways so they can eliminate it or be able to navigate through it easily.
“Just leave it for the workers to do it”.
Seriously, it’s not that hard to throw the food you ate to the nearest trash can.
To be afraid of money. I spent so much of my childhood walking on eggshells because of my mom’s constant anxiety over money. If I ever asked for anything she’d look at me like I was about to put her into financial ruin.
How to rewind the VHS.
My parents taught me not to share my feelings. It has taken me a long time to be able to do this. I don’t’ want my kids hiding their feelings.
To be overly critical of my own body. My mom is otherwise wonderful but very insecure about her weight (she’s not overweight at all). I often got comments like “those jeans look cute but don’t gain 5lbs” and lectures about how I can’t go out around other people without makeup because “what will people think?”
But it’s unfortunate because she genuinely believes people are judging her that much. She apologizes every time we video chat if she hasn’t put on makeup yet.
I’ve had weight issues most of my life. My mother always made me finish my entire plate off at dinner. I pointed out to her years later that she would serve me the same size meal as she was eating. It was like a light bulb suddenly turned on in her head and she just said “oh…”
I would never compare my kids to other kids. Not only did it make me feel [email protected]#tty back then, it’s made me unnecessarily competitive now and I seem to compare every little thing of mine with other people’s.
Grades are everything.
Yeah, never teaching my kids that. (if I have any)
My parents were unconditionally supportive. Everything I did was the best and perfect and I was a genius. I will be giving my daughter constructive criticism, because that is how we get better at things
That the only acceptable careers in the world are: lawyer, doctor, and engineer.
If a boy is mean to you, he likes you.
Worst. Lesson. Ever.
A lot of parents teach that saying nothing and walking away makes you “the bigger person” for some reason. I was also taught that and now I have a reputation for being a doormat.
My father always said that you should do something perfectly or don’t start at all… Terrible advice since now I’m a real perfectionist that awaits perfect conditions.
Give it your best but always try would have been way better advice.
Wait a minute…