After reviewing the results of the first conversations on dating sites and most successful pickup links used online, Beyondthecharter came out with further proof of this well-known fact: humor is a powerful tool for flirting and attracting a partner’s attention.

Humor is a powerful flirting tool for dating.

Nine times out of 10, the first thing to attract one single to another they’ve never met before is physical appearance. Following that, it’s all about uncovering their personality, and one of the most desirable traits people look for is a sense of humor.

When you spot someone across a crowded bar who instantly causes your pulse to quicken, what would have the most impact? Catching them frowning, or hearing them laughing? In the online environment, after you’ve found yourself drawn to a particular profile image, think about the huge influence of those four little initials. GSOH. Most people would regard that as vitally important. Would anyone ever consider popping ‘bad sense of humor’ into their description? Of course not. They might as well say, ‘You don’t want to meet me, I’m boring!’

There are all sorts of reasons why sharing a good sense of humor is a strong component for any relationship, especially when couples are first getting to know each other. Humor will lighten the mood in any situation. Think of an interview situation, for college or employment. What would put you most at ease – facing a panel of scowling faces, or interacting with friendly individuals making jokes?

This is the same with dating. Meeting someone for the first time can be fraught with apprehension. It’s common to feel anxious about making a good impression, or worrying if there’s going to be any chemistry. Humor will immediately lighten the mood, creating an atmosphere where you can both relax and unwind, provoking the conversations that will bring you closer.

How one should and shouldn’t joke on the dates?

One issue with a ‘GSOH’ is that it’s a blanket expression, whereas humor can be nuanced. There are so many different ways of provoking laughter, but not all of them are suitable for romantic situations. Self-deprecation, the ability to not take yourself too seriously, can be endearing. Continually using this during conversations might make it seem as if you have self-esteem issues. Your prospective partner might begin wondering if you take anything seriously. There is a time and a place for excessive humor. Someone continually wisecracking when you’re trying to be more intimate would be the ultimate passion-killer.

Flirting is all about creating sexual tension but in a playful way. The key is understanding when it is appropriate to use humor as you flirt, and when you should tone down the flippancy and be a bit more serious. Say your partner tripped or inadvertently spilled food down themselves during a restaurant date. The way you react will go a long way towards developing their impression of your character. Making light of this situation will lift their spirits. You could chuckle sympathetically while helping them up, or dabbing the stain with a serviette. But if you just laughed at their misfortune, you’ll add to their embarrassment.

Why do women love men who joke, and men love women who laugh at their jokes?

It might seem a cliché to suggest women love men who can make them laugh, or that men get a kick when women laugh at their jokes. But there are strong elements of truth to both statements. Whether you deliver a ‘clever’ line, like something Chandler from Friends might have said, or you tell funny stories that induce enough laughter to have your date smiling throughout your date, humor is a dynamic tool to have at your disposal.

Dirty Jokes: Are They Appropriate for Chatting and Dating?

As has been stated, a GSOH is a catchall phrase. Flirting is fine for getting to know someone. You should only consider risqué or downright dirty jokes once you’ve established a good rapport. Coarser humor can be introduced when you get to the stage in your relationship where you’re ready to get physical. Whisper funny sweet nothings during your dinner date. In the bedroom, lewd joking and dirty talk is allowed!