"When I was younger, my brother and I went exploring in the woods. We found a sweet-@$$ vine and decided we were gonna cut it loose from the tree and swing on it. Black stuff leaking out of the vine, whatever, I’m Tarzan. Get black vine-juice on me as I swing from the vine into a bed of green foliage. Vine was poison ivy, the foliage was poison oak. I almost went blind, almost asphyxiated, and was in the hospital for a week as swollen as a pumpkin."
-Anonymous