"My two year old attempts to hide the family dog (who is 75 pounds) in various places in his room so that the dog can sleep in there with him. So far, I've found the dog in the closet, behind the curtains, surrounded by stuffed animals to "blend in," and on numerous occasions I've walked in the room to see a giant mound under the comforter at the foot of the bed. My son is astonished every single time that I have not only found the dog, but was even looking for him in the first place. On more than one occasion he even attempted to persuade me that he didn't even know we had a dog."
"I found a loaded one-shot Nerf gun under my 5-year-old daughter's pillow. When I asked her what she was doing with it, she whispered, 'It's for the tooth fairy"
"I thought my 15-year-old was diligently plugging the charger into her phone every night before going upstairs for bed...until I discovered she was actually plugging it into an empty phone case and taking her phone with her"
"My nine year old step daughter was in her room one day for like hours with markers and papers. I thought she was drawing or making a picture book or something so I let it slide. It turns out she had our calendar and was making cards for everyone for every holiday and birthday coming up. I haven’t asked her about it but I’m honestly super proud of her logic and long term planning abilities."
"My kid would get up in the middle of the night and want a snack. He would sneak into the kitchen and eat a whole tomato except the little circle where it connected to the stem.
He hid the little stem circles under whatever was on top of the trash and would go to sleep.
We always made sure there were tomatoes for him."
"My 16 y/o had a box of condoms with a price sticker from the Dollar Store in his backpack, he left it on my passenger seat and they fell out while I was shifting it to the back seat. I went and bought him a better brand and replaced them. We have never discussed it Edit- Thank you all so much for the great feedback, parenting is no easy task lol. To clarify, we have discussed sex, I only meant that we've never discussed the actual switching of the condom boxes"
"A few years ago, I was going through my son's (3rd grade) backpack and found a can of ravioli. That's all well, except I never bought any ravioli. When I asked him about it, he burst into tears and and pulled out a box under his bed filled with Ravioli! He then proceeded to tell me how this girl that picks on him and says they are married gives him ravioli everyday and makes him take it. I can just picture this girl's mother telling her the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
"We had a foster kid who hid about two handfuls of spaghetti with sauce under his pillow. We found it the next day while he was at school, cleaned it up, and never told him we found it. But we made sure to have spaghetti twice a week after that."
"My daughter is trying to impress me by learning origami. She's 7 and doesn't think that Dad can see all the missing paper and the (messily but improving a lot) paper cranes hidden throughout her room. I bought 2 more reams of paper and just left them out on accident. Lazy old dad not putting up his office supplies."
"My 3-year-old nephew opens a bag of Lay's and sneaks two chips, then sneaks two more the next day, and so on. I will never have that kind of self-control."
"My daughter has a picture of her mother and I on our honeymoon. Been "hidden" under her bed for a long time. We've been divorced over 4 years now. She still keeps that picture under her pillow every night. It's still there actually. I don't have the heart to take it from her. Too bad her mother is a cold hearted blood sucking two faced wh#re. Tough to see every time it I change the sheets."
"He has a crush on the babysitter and tries to draw hearts to give to her. He also proposed.
He is 6"
"My daughter throws her lettuce under the table for the dog to eat. The dog doesn’t like lettuce."
"The pez dispensers in his night stand. He eats them in secret pretty sparingly so I let it go.
"I just found out that my six-year-old locks the bathroom door so he can get some privacy. Last night I looked across the kitchen to see the door slightly ajar and my son engaging in his private time.
I didn't say anything, just watched him finish his 5 reps, flex in the mirror and then walk out of the bathroom."
"Conversation with daughter:
"Ok, so while I was changing your sister did you finish dinner"
"ALL of it?"
"So if I look in the garbage can I'm not going to find any of your dinner in there?"
"Where her dad’s watch is. I know where she hides it. And I’ve seen her wear it pretending to be him. It’s so cute. I won’t tell my husband though."
"My daughter has a stash of "candy" wrappers under her bed. She is 4 and thinks she's slick. The "candy" is dried prunes though. I put those in the candy jar because she kept stealing candy."
"My 6 year old got out of bed early on Sunday morning to sneak downstairs and steal Monopoly money from the bank in the unfinished game from the night before which was left out on the table."
"Everybody’s kids here are hiding books to read secretly. Mine’s hiding in his bedroom trying to use a glue stick like lip balm."
"Himself. It's nearly bedtime. 2 year old thinks I'll forget to put him to bed if he runs into another room for 30 seconds."
"My kid is 5. She sneaks food under her blanket (wrapped snacks) for later and is always amazed when I find them."
"My daughter (who's 9) thinks she's being crafty hiding a book under her pillow to read after bedtime. I've known for about a year and let her have half an hour 'secret reading time' after she goes to bed.Bit harder to know if she's not reading after half an hour now it's summer and she doesn't need to use a lamp, but I can tell if she's turned her lamp off in winter."
"Our son (9) is taking his marbles to school and screwing other kids out of their marbles. He's got a real hustle going on there. He's not allowed to take any toys to school, hence why he's hiding it. I checked his school backpack and found probably a kilogram worth of marbles in there. We are having a talk this afternoon."
"Fortunately my teenager (16, going on 17) doesn't try to hide much from me. She's a terrible liar and gets busted right away every time, so she just casually admits stuff these days. It's pretty great.However, she's been sneaking her boyfriend over to the house during the day while I'm at work and thinks I'm clueless. Girl, I know you eat a lot, but there's no way you're going through half a loaf of bread by yourself in one day. You also left his glass of water on the coffee table..."
"My almost 2yo has started telling me crazy stories as if they are real. He recently told me that our dog rides a motorcycle to go play with her friends."
"My 22-year-old son starts work at 6:00 a.m. He left the house at 6:30 and came back thirty minutes later. I think he got fired."
"My two year old dropped out Echo dot and split into two pieces. She attempted to sandwich it back together and put it back where it was but now says stuff like "alexa play mickey mouse" and then when nothing happens she says "uh oh alexa what happen?" You know damn well what happen and it's HAPPENED."
"My 6 year old son poops in the back yard every morning and blames it on the dog"
"My 12(m) son went on a double "date". My husband happened to be driving through town and saw the 4 of them together. I asked him and he said they "happened to be going to the same place". The mother of the other boy had the scoop and filled me in. I let my son know that he shouldn't lie to me and it is perfectly fine for him to be going on a double date - he apparently paid for the fries. I offered to drive him and the others somewhere if they wanted to go again."