The 5-second rule is a myth

"To test out people's favorite "rule," Dr. Ronald Carter from Queen Mary, University of London did an experiment. He dropped pizza, apple, and toast onto different surfaces and it revealed that they were all covered in germs. As it turned out, the "5-second rule" isn't true—bacteria can attach to food as soon as it touches the floor."
Don't worry, if at first you don't succeed in poisoning yourself horribly, keep trying! Like for real, PLEASE keep trying.
The only thing you violate is your sock.
You're the kind of guy that his face mask probably has a hole in the middle...for more than one reason.
Momma always said, stupid is as stupid does.
Attacking people in the comments section of a humor based site is beyond pathetic.