"Back in 2000-2004 I worked at a hospital doing admin and an ol' battleaxe of a senior midwife stomped over with this angry-looking pregnant teenager in tow.
"Varvara!" Old Battleaxe roared. "Varvara, open up that internetty-thing on your computer!"
Old Battleaxe did not know computers, but she was well scary, so I agreed, and opened up the internetty-thing.
"Show this ridiculous child the first picture that appears when you type in the word Chanterelle!"
The angry pregnant teenager whined about how it was a pretty name and loads of girls were naming their little girl it, and then went stone-dead silent when she saw picture after picture of nasty sulphur-yellow mushrooms sprouting out of muddy forest floors.
"Told you! It's a [friggin] fungus!" Old Battleaxe roared, and stamped off to be Terrifying and Sensible at other pregnant teenagers, leaving me with the angry one.
Turned out that the name she had actually been thinking of was Chardonnay, which is both the name of very expensive wine and the name of a character in a UK soap opera called Footballers Wives, which was about as classy as it sounds.
The baby got that as a middle name later on, which was fine, the first name was Sophie or something along those lines."
I like the misspelled names like Isiah and Dwyane.
Your birth certificate is just a receipt, you were born on a tax farm.
Isn't it sweet?
BTW favorite boy names in Berlin and London are now Mohammed.
..and when you're brave enough...!