"My great-grandfather had not, in fact, been eaten by a bear on Mt. Rainier (he was a park ranger). Instead, he’d been cheating on my great-grandmother and was summarily run out of town by her brothers. He moved to Alaska and nobody knew what had become of him until we located his grave, many decades later."
Rigor mortis gave him a stiffy!
I need to watch Clerks again.
The guy was probably Patrick Swayze. (30 year old movie reference)