"When I went to Abu Dhabi the Irish section was as expected, tea bags and tayto, but had to snap a pic of the american section. There wasn't more past the edge of the pic, it was just mayo (do ye call it ranch?)"
"Every single type of mayo under the sun."
#19 is nice ;-)
Scrap that all and fill it with Nutella. What else do you need? Maybe some real bread.
I am American and I am neither. And I will refrain from saying anything bad back at you because your country produced you, and that's insult enough.