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it was a year of hell from one date
Yeah you don't have sex with someone entirely asleep. You did that so that's your fault.
Hum don't know how to break it to you, but guys can get a hardon while they are asleep, no control over it. Happens almost every night to most males (young and old), and yes, you can be such a sound sleeper that you won't know they've mounted you unless they get aggressive. Especially if you're drunk or high.
it would still be Rape.
Incel alert!