"I work as a banqueting chef. The groom stood to say the following: ‘Today I married the woman of my dreams, and I’d like to thank her for everything she has done for me. I would also like to thank my best man, who has been f**king her since we got engaged…

…With that, he mumbled a ‘cheers,’ downed his champagne, and got a taxi to the airport to start his honeymoon alone."