“My wife won’t stop laughing at me.”
“Just trying to ride a bike near a nesting magpie.”
“I appreciate your attempt to clean, my random party guest, but wooden cutting boards do not go in the dishwasher.”
“I went to show my bunny the forest. It sounded better in my head.”
“I tried to save a few trees and bought a silicone ‘cotton swab.’ Guess who’s at urgent care because the other end is stuck in his ear?”
“I forgot my plastic spatula in the oven while heating up my lasagna.”
“I couldn’t find my dog and was worried she somehow got out. Turns out she locked herself in the bathroom and decided to redecorate.”
“Yesterday I asked a man with a sign ‘hungry, anything helps’ if he wanted a freshly baked bagel. He was super thankful and nice.”
“Left my bathroom window open for 3 weeks whilst i was away and a bird laid a nest in my sink”
“Someone tried stealing my car last night.”
“Saw this on someone’s car in the movie theater parking lot”
“Spray Paint Bottle EXPLODED inside my Honda Acty Kei Van.”
“I took out my DSLR after moving.”
“Was told by my builder that this was the correct paint for the walls”
“Stepped on a rusty nail.”
“Beefaroni without any beef.”
“My neighbor left his Thunderbird outside with the top down. It’s pouring.”
“I set it against a wall and it slid down, it fell half a foot..”
“Last sip of coffee, felt something in my mouth. Spit it out thinking it’s some grounds or something. Nope, it’s a tick.”
“My coworker ladies and gentlemen”
“This contact lens split apart in my eye. Has this happened to anyone else?”
“A bench at a bus stop I go to has been removed.”
“Pulled it’s way through a board and then broke my hammer.”
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While wearing your OSHA approved sandals I see...
#45 fake
No accident. Dry ice is really fun!