#5 You probably accidentally held down the unlock button for a few seconds on your FOB. Many cars will do that.

#42
While wearing your OSHA approved sandals I see...

#40 it’s just the filter that broke, not a big deal.

#45 fake

#22 That seems to be quite the opposite of an unlucky moment.

#14 looks like a sh#t read, missing quite a few pages is a bonus imo...

#2 Nonsense. Marry another woman.

#12 Defecate quietly first.

#18 Consult your psychiatrist.

#20 You did it! Toilets are for defecating...

#24 Your wife don't know sh#t - just like yo!

#26 Tell us 'bout your father's head. Do it!

#27 She knows what yo are.

#32 At least yo did n't forget it in yo @$$.

#39 Not even the pope of Rome cares.

#41 Your builder knows yo dumb. Good night.

#44 Mind yo own business.

#45 sstill yo can eyacu... on it.

#46 Man, go tell This to your psychiatrist, for G.'s sakes.

#50 Now the world will expl. Damn.

#20 How do you accidentally put dry ice in the toilet?

#4 just add boiling water and your tea will be ready to drink straight out of that box in a few minutes.

#13 Maybe go back to the place that cooks the pizza

#26 This seems excessive...

#42 You wore flip flops in an active work area?