“Five-year-old pulled the seat belt from one side of the van across the headrest on the other side, and it became taut. The headrest on my model isn’t designed to come off, so it’s been stuck like this for months.”
“Totally invisible”
“The ‘chalk on every surface’ phase”
“Kids broke my ultrawide. Is this salvageable at all or should I just toss it in the recycling? Also, I have two kids for sale.”
“My daughter had my wife’s phone on a long car ride. She ordered all the Barbie dream houses from Amazon.”
“My 10-year-old made Easy Mac and now the whole house stinks.”
“My little brother destroyed his old phone for no reason.”
“A very slow flushing toilet led to my discovery of the most ironic toilet clog.”
“Poured a brand new bag of chips into the dog bowl, just to eat them out of the bowl.”
“Middle schoolers visited our automotive shop and tried to cover it up.”
“My wife’s stationary bike just became a jellybean dispenser.”
“She snuck a bar of soap out of the bathroom for a snack and threw a fit when I wouldn’t let her continue eating it.”
“Peekaboo!”
“Little bundle of joy”
“Today I learned baby oil dissolves permanent Sharpie.”
“My 6-year-old daughter made this ‘science experiment’ last night. She also decided to leave it on our brand new neighbors’ doorstep as a ‘welcome present.’ That was an awkward introduction this morning.”
“The toddler slapped my glasses directly into my eyeball.”
“One of my kids brought poison ivy into the house, and now my hands look like this. Every bump is a blister.”
“My kids apparently invented a new way to play Jenga.”
“My son somehow put a hole in the wall.”
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And that's why dogs love small children...