#20 - we tried that at Burger King - it didn’t work.

#6 They have signs that tell you to stay back specifically to relieve them of any liability. There is no chance you would get your windshield replaced even if the truck did sling a rock at you. Do you not think insurance companies are aware of every way a person can try to commit fraud?

#7 Bullsh#t. There is no reason for you to leave the car there unless there was a drug store or hospital nearby, and even then you'd have to show a receipt for an inhaler or something. Authorities aren't stupid when it comes to taking your money.

#18 No they don't, and yes they do.

#37 They don't just look at your windshield and walk away. They check your plate. That stupid piece of paper could be anything, but one thing they know it's not is another ticket.

These people are dumber than the ones they think they're going to fool.

#19 & #27, damnit

#9 not possible with us due to insurance coverage

#7 As a council member, I’d say send me all the details. When you don’t I’d call BS which I’m doing right now.

#8 BS. Unless they let him mate the remote.

#20 She’s willing to fake a proposal to get a free dessert? I could probably take advantage of that.

#14 It’s not clever anymore. If you get away with it, it’s because your teachers don’t care about it and just up the word count.

#11 Are you 12? I don’t give who hears me cr#p?

#15 That’s fun. I always wore clothes that would allow me to wear them like a belt around my waist, in my socks, under my b@lls, and all the way up to my armpits. Still do it. Never had to fake a baby.

#16 That’s just stupid if you weren’t breaking the law.

#13 I would rather kill the customers, and be brutal.

#17 Chargers cost $9 at Walmart. Loser.

#25 I have been to multiple schools, and not once have I ever been asked for my gum, altoids, hubba bubba. Do you go to a school in rural Africa where they haven’t seen such things?

#24 I’d just flick the turkey waddle under her skin. She’ll talk.

#21 Or. Orrr. Buy a Four Loko before you go, and you have to pay four beers. You’ll be drunk. You’re also a girl.

#22 Just don’t answer the call if you don’t the number.

#23 Didn’t happen, but that woman would be a b!tch. For two reasons. The teller had counted the money so she knew it was $10 short of $1000, and she just had to put it back in the drawer and deposit it back into the account. Second, the b!tch made her do it.

#6 “Do you have the license plate on the truck? Did you file a police report? I’ll look into it.

#26 This is so stupid, I can relate.

#27 Of course your fold looks exactly what their tickets look like.

#1 that could work for a short while, but there will come a time when a deep diver is going to wonder why there are no pics of you and your twin together.

#2 Assistant: You have wedding invitations from 432,000 couples this month.

Billionaire: If the bride give me a BJ right after they cut the cake, I’ll go to at least 37. I want full body pictures!

#3 I didn’t expect as much spray on tan.

#4 I tried this. I got to into the movie, and apparently iPad batteries add fire to the flame. Long story short, I’m under investigation for arson because I had a negative balance in my bank account. Don’t recommend.

#5 When you’ve been vacuuming a 140 square foot room for 45 minutes there’s going to be a knock.

#8 isn’t BS, I used to do that at the gym

#8 we did this as kids in the tv departments of some stores.

#23 Just use the ATM Nancy.