#2 whip or wipe, make up your mind.

#15 some "freedom" fries with that liberty steak?

#15 The common term was Salsbury Steak when it wasn't in a sandwich.

#2 Many kings did. They were called the 'Groom of the Stool' and they were usually one of the king's most trusted confidants and advisors, as were court jesters.

#6 Cromwell never banned eating pie. That's a ridiculous myth and completely untrue.

#12 It was invented by Joseph-Ignace Guillotin as a more humane and efficient method of execution. Unfortunately, efficiency led to rapid means of use and, much to Guillotin's dismay, it as used in extreme excess during the Reign of Terror, with 17,000 officially recorded executions in less than one year.

#8 Once upon a time, there was an engineer
He drove a locomotive both far and near
Accompanied by a monkey who would sit on a stool
Watching everything the engineer would do

In relation to #9 and #14- Art was created long before writing, which wasn't invented until around 3,400 BCE and is why there is little to no account of humans before that time.

#8 gotta love that gif, eh? #3 not too bad either, wink wink