"Dirty And Bloody Envelope From The Postman's Accident"
"We received this in the mail today with a note from the USPS. It says, "The carrier who services your route was involved in an industrial or motor vehicle incident. Due to the incident, your mail came into contact with blood.""
You might also want to drink some Holy Water just to be on the safe side. Even if you are an aetheist it could not hurt.
Man what do you have to do to get turned down by the Church of Satan?
(Interestingly enough they actually do tons of charity work)
strange
i live at nr 16