"I walk past the window of an awesome thrift store fairly regularly, and the other day these beauties caught my eye. I went in to check the size, knowing there was no way they would fit, as it's darn near impossible to find my shoe size in the wild. Lo and behold, these amazing shoes were my exact size and fit me perfectly! Since purple is my favorite color- they definitely came home with me!"
I've heard, from the wise men of the interwebz, that you are not allowed to critizise anything as long as it's free.