People put too much emphasis on trying to be who they think will attract people and not enough on who they truly are.ArchaicBrainWorms:I was a weird kid who grew into a strange young man, eventually reaching the rank colorful character.Being authentic and receiving social rejection sucks. Maintaining a facade and running every interaction through a filter and receiving social rejection is worse.Mesmerotic31:This is blindingly true after being married for years. It's a good exercise in figuring out if you're actively trying to be the person you want to be/live the way you want to live when you stop and consider re-entering the dating pool (intrusive thoughts when I panic at the thought of losing my husband in a freak accident). You ask yourself how much of a catch you would be if you perfectly represented yourself to potential dates, showed them what life would look like with you years down the road. Like, if someone saw the spouse/parent I turned out to be, would they actually want to be with me at all? It's always a good kick in the ass to just try harder, be awesome-er, show up for your spouse and kids right now the way you always envisioned you would show up before being in the thick of it.