Don’t lie to your mother:
How to succeed in business:
It’s not a good idea to just sit and watch TV all day:
Smoking is not sexy:
Always drink plenty of Malk:
No one wants to see your 500-photo vacation slideshow:
Arranged marriages can work:
Sometimes, it’s okay to brag about your accomplishments:
Alcohol is both the problem and the solution:
Sex sells:
Listen to your parents’ advice, but don’t follow it blindly:
Smarch has lousy weather:
Do not touch Willie:
Ignorance is bliss:
Don’t over think it, the simplest solution is often the right one:
How to say Grace:
‘Embiggens’ is a perfectly cromulent word:
Always know where the ‘ANY’ key is on a keyboard:
Your parents had a completely different life before you came along:
Yoko Ono ruins everything:
Never turn your back on your sugar pile, not even for a second:
‘Die’ means ‘The’ in German:
Don’t take things at face value:
No matter how much you want to, you can’t turn back time:
At the end of the day, it’s nice to come home to the people you love:
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