Here are a few reasons why you won’t survive the apocalypse.
The only food that can survive an apocalypse has been discontinued
And you’ve got to share your rations with these fellas
And let’s face it, if it’s kill or be killed…you’re screwed
You don’t own this zombie-proof house
Or this super sweet death dagger
So you’ll have no way to kill these things
And don’t forget, you’re almost as out of shape as this guy
Plus, superheroes have really let themselves go
And the cops won’t be able to help you either
Not to mention, this guy’s hogging the only phone that still works
So, you’re on your own, which is too bad because you’re not agile enough to make a fast getaway
I mean, you trip over your own two feet all time
Also, this dog is blocking your escape route
Which was mapped out by this “tech-savvy” lady
And all the escape shuttles have already been reserved
This spider means you won’t even be able to hit the emergency switch
Plus, these are your escape pants and you don’t want to put them on
So you’ll just stay home and get stuck Walken around the Christmas tree
And cruising the Internet until the last possible second
Until suddenly
And everything goes black as the new world leaders take control of the planet
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