Because this has never happened to you on live television:
And you always remember which knee is yours:
And you’ve never been caught red-handed like this:
Or so fantastically denied a hug like this:
And you’ve never been so horribly denied a chest bump:
Or had a handshake crash and burn this poorly:
Because your workout routine has never gone this poorly:
And you haven’t had a code-red emergency like this at the gym:
Because you probably always remember to clear your search bar:
Because you’ve never had this happen to you when you thought you were going to get lucky on Skype:
And you’ve never pulled a Larson:
Because you’ve never had an interaction with your parents like this:
Or like this:
Keep in mind that no one has ever thought you pooped a tennis ball:
And Spider-Man has never flown out of your butt:
You’ve never been in this kind of danger:
And your big break on TV didn’t go something like this:
Because, no matter how bad a dancer you may be, chances are this has never happened:
And chances are you’ve never been Ryan Seacrest trying to high-five a blind dude:
Because you’ve never been the last person standing:
Because if you have a tattoo, chances are it’s not as bad as this “Ana” tattoo:
And this never happened to you at your job:
Finally, most importantly, because you have never been and will never be Justin Timberlake in the years 1998–2001:
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