Ok, how about a one-handed beer opener? Say goodbye to the days of having to take your hand out of the Doritos bowl to open a beer.
Ergonomic chin rest. Look, your head weighs like 10 lbs. You want to just sit around the rest of your life lifting 10 lbs. all day?
Sandals that are also mops.
This inflatable pillow tie. If you’re already sleeping at work make that experience more comfortable.
A combo remote-control/bottle opener. Miss up to 5 seconds of commercials while you grab your bottle opener? NEVER!
Corn kerneler peeler. Save time and your teeth!
This twirling spaghetti fork. Never having to twirl your fork again!
This milk tap that keeps you from ever having to lift the jug again.
Your baby is on the floor anyway, so why not combine it with a mop?
This electric potato peeler will make Army redundant. Just kidding.
Banana slicer. Don't put your private parts in there.
This self-mixing chocolate milk mug will change your life... not really.
12 MPH cooler. Carry your cooler to the beach? How about ride your cooler to the beach!
A self-turning ice-cream cone.
A combo-iPad toilet paper holder seems like a natural solution to the problem of accidentally dropping your iPad in shit water while trying to watch the latest season of Silicon Valley.
This face-down beach lounger. Tanning your back doesn't have to be boring ever again!
Canned PB&J. A revolutionary invention.
This instant snowball maker will help you stay warm and dry while you make others cold and wet.
Electric shoes. What are you just supposed to walk everywhere on your own like some kind of sucker?
A voice-activated popcorn maker that shoots popcorn directly into your mouth. I WANT THIS.
These lazy reading glasses. For only $4.44, you’ll never again be burdened by the task of sitting upright while watching TV or reading. But again, if you're that lazy you probably didn't bother to read this ;p